- If at first you do not succeed, skydiving is not for you.
- Be carefull when reading books on health, you may die of a misprint.
- Basic Flying Rules:
"Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it.
The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space.
It is much more difficult to fly there."
- There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
- Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
- Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
- If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. (Abraham Lincoln)
- The history of medication:
2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.
2009 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
- Hardware: The parts of a computer system you can kick.
- Hi, my name is Any Key. Please don't hit me!
To be amended...